


If Anybody Is Breaking Something Here, That's Gonna Be Me

by OnTheGround2012



Series: All I Saw Was You [50]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek, Alpha Scott, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Future, Amnesia, Angst, Boyfriends, Decisions, Fluff and Angst, Future, Love, M/M, Marriage, Questions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-24 14:52:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10743942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnTheGround2012/pseuds/OnTheGround2012
Summary: When Stiles starts avoiding Jackson, Jackson needs to find out what is going on.





	If Anybody Is Breaking Something Here, That's Gonna Be Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hi... so, I always say how I feel and here is the thing: I could have posted this chapter last week, because I could post a chapter every weekend but because I almost don't get any feedback (or kudos) I'm disappointed and I get very depressed and I don't feel like sharing my work with anybody or writing anything after posting a new chapter... and hell, I'm not sure if people actually realize that this is what happens when you consume and you don't say a word to the writer, so I feel it's my duty to say actually something for me and for all the writers out there who feel discouraged by this thing that is happening nowadays.
> 
> That's why, from now on, I'm gonna link to [this Tumblr post with 20183 likes](http://zsphoenix.tumblr.com/post/159757659852/ghastlydisco-scifigrl47-stoneyboboney) that I love because I think that if all the readers read it, they'd understand why their feedback (and kudos) are so very important. At the end of the post there are also TIPS about feedback and what you can say when you don't know what to say (which happens to all of us sometimes)... it's really awesome, so please check it out... it mentions things like "quotes you like", "What's your feeling at the end of the chapter?", etc.
> 
> Regarding this new chapter, I must say that it's very important for me and one my favorites without doubt and god, I really hope that people will like it and if I see some change and I get more feedback and kudos, I will post a new chapter the first weekend of May/earlier... not sure when because I'm not really getting my hopes up.
> 
> Anyway, I'm gonna copy the beginning of the post and if with this comment I can help more writers out there who feel like giving up or removing their stories from AO3, I'll be happy. If this useless, at least I tried:  
>  
> 
> _I’ve seen five different authors take down, or prepare to take down, their posted works on Ao3 this week. At the same time, I’ve seen several people wishing there was more new content to read. I’ve also seen countless posts by authors begging for people to leave comments and kudos._
> 
> _People tell me I am a big name fan in my chosen fandom. I don’t quite get that but for the purposes of this post, let’s roll with it. On my latest one shot, less than 18% of the people who read it bothered to hit the kudos button. Sure, okay, maybe that one sort of sucked. Let’s look at the one shot posted before that - less than 16% left kudos. Before that - 10%, and then 16%. I’m not even going to get into the comments. Let’s just say the numbers drop a lot. I’m just looking at one shots here so we don’t have to worry about multiple hits from multiple chapters, people reading previous chapters over, etc. And if I am a BNF, that means other people are getting significantly less kudos and comments._
> 
> _(...)TL;DR: Passively devouring content is killing fandom._
> 
> _^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^_
> 
> _Fandom is kept alive by readers, watchers, lookers, commenters, and supporters. And the FiKi fandom has some MAGNIFICENT ones…but a lot more who click, consume, and say nothing._
> 
> _Otherwise, artists and writers are throwing into a vacuum. And it’s the artists and writers who get blamed when there’s not new content?_
> 
> _This applies to so many fandoms. It makes me so sad to see that even on LJ comms, there are far more people reading things than there are commenting on and liking them. I co-mod one of the oldest sites in a particular fandom, and I know it’s still active because of the sign-ups for our challenges, but it’s so disheartening when people post and nobody says anything._
> 
> _How does that encourage new writers, if the first thing they post gets no response? (...) I don’t know why fandom is getting so heavily skewed towards passive consumption, but I wish I could do something - anything - to fix it. I miss the kind of comment threads that used to lead directly to more fic and art._
> 
> _(Keep reading[it here](http://zsphoenix.tumblr.com/post/159757659852/ghastlydisco-scifigrl47-stoneyboboney) and reblog it if you can...)_
> 
>    
> Thanks to my lovely beta for her help as usual; she's amazing and I couldn't share this without her advice.

_Where are you? Are you avoiding me?_

Stiles looks at the text and bites his lip.

_I'm at home,_ Stiles finally replies.

_I'm coming over._ Jackson says right away.

_OK,_ Stiles says.

 

Ten minutes later, Stiles can see Jackson parking the Porsche in front of his house.

"Hi," Jackson says when the sheriff opens the door.

"Hi, he's upstairs," the sheriff replies as he looks at Jackson and frowns because not that his son's boyfriend is usually the face of happiness, but he knows him well enough by now to know that there's something weird going on between him and his son.

"Thanks," Jackson says as he walks towards the stairs.

"Is something wrong?" The sheriff asks unsure.

Jackson snorts. "That's what I'd like to find out." Jackson says simply before going up the stairs.

He usually knocks but he knows Stiles has heard him downstairs, so he just opens the door and finds Stiles at his desk looking at his laptop.

"Hey," Jackson says.

"Hey," Stiles continues typing something.

"So, can we talk?"

"Yeah, wait a minute." Stiles says without taking his eyes from the screen.

"Okay." Jackson sits with resignation on the bed and after a minute he lies down on it.

"Done," Stiles announces after what feels like too long too Jackson. "We can talk."

"Thank you, your majesty," Jackson says with irony looking at the ceiling.

Stiles just rolls his eyes dramatically.

"So, are you going to tell me what's going on?" Jackson sits straight looking at Stiles. "And don't play dumb with me because you know what I'm talking about. You didn't come to the meeting and you didn't come to Danny's birthday party the other night. Even the pack knows that you've been avoiding me... Can you imagine how I felt when they asked me where you were and I couldn't give them an answer? Because _stupid_ doesn't even begin to describe it..."

Stiles sighs. "Fine. Yeah, I've been avoiding you. I'm sorry if they asked you..." Stiles looks away from Jackson's eyes.

"And why? What's going on?" Jackson raises his eyebrows and waves his arms obviously confused.

"Because..." Stiles avoids Jackson's eyes looking at the window instead. "Well, because we need to break up, okay? And I didn't know how to say it... I have zero experience breaking up with someone... I thought about texting you for a second but I imagined that you'd probably want to kill me with your teeth which is not something appealing, you know? But since you are here and you're asking me--" Stiles waves his right arm.

" _Break up_?" Jackson interrupts him. "Are you really breaking up with me?" Jackson feels like his head is about to explode with shock and confusion.

"I guess I am. Yeah." Stiles bites his lips.

"Did you..." Jackson hesitates. "I mean, did you meet anybody else?" Jackson has no idea when that could have happened but it's the first thought he has because he can't think of anything else... it's not like if he fucked up recently.

"What? No! Of course not." Stiles says surprised. "Why would you say that?" Stiles waves his arms.

"Because you just said you wanted to break up, obviously." Jackson says matter-of-factly.

"And you think there's a queue of guys waiting to take your place..." Stiles says with disbelief.

"I don't know anything because you haven't told me anything. But of course, it's a possibility, why shouldn't it be?" Jackson waves his right arm.

Stiles would smile at that if he wasn't trying to go through with his decision.

"Well, there's no-one, okay? But we have to be realistic. You're leaving next month for a ton of years and I'm staying here, so it's like we don't make sense anymore if it's gonna be over soon, you know? What's the point?" Stiles shrugs.

" _What's the point?_ " Jackson frowns "Are kidding me? You didn't just say that."

"I'm totally serious."

"I can see that. That's what worries me." Jackson gets up and starts to walk from one side to the other of the room like he doesn't have enough space to think.

"Is this because you want to be single while I'm not here...?" _to be with somebody else_ , Stiles gets it... "or is it because you think I'll cheat on you... I mean, is that the problem? You just don't trust me?" Jackson asks, looking directly at Stiles's eyes.

"I trust you, okay? That's not... that's not the problem." Stiles shakes his head.

"Then you want to be single? What is it? Because I don't understand it."

"It's not that either. But I think we're too young to be in a long distance relationship for so long. I don't think it would work... or maybe it would work for a few months... maybe a year... but probably it wouldn't longer than that. So, if we're going to break up eventually, we might as well break up now instead of making it more difficult later."

"Oh my god." Jackson smirks. "You've actually rehearsed this shit. I can't believe it." Jackson says, sitting down on the bed again and running his fingers through his hair.

Stiles doesn't deny it which just proves his point and makes Stiles even more uncomfortable.

"Well, everything you just said is shit. Firstly, you don't break up with somebody just because you think you'll be breaking up _eventually_... if that was the case, nobody would get married in case they got a divorce later. And, secondly, the truth is that you just don't trust me. You think I'm gonna hook up with somebody else and lie to you. You think I'm going to break your heart and you thought _hey, I'm not going through that, if anybody is breaking something here, that's gonna be me_."

"I didn't think that," Stiles says in a very unconvincing way.

"Werewolf here, remember? Why do you even try?" Jackson shrugs.

"Jackson, just think it over, okay? You have to admit that there's no future for us. This _distance thing_... it wouldn't work."

"You think I haven't thought about it?" Jackson frowns when he realizes what Stiles had implied. "Because of course, I have."

Stiles seems a little surprised because the truth is that he didn't think that Jackson had given it much thought.

"You didn't say anything..."

"That's because every time I thought about it, I realized that nothing needed to change. And that I didn't want anything to change... and I assumed you didn't want it to either."

"I’m not saying that I want things to change. It's that it's going to happen whether we want it or not. It's a fucking lot of time."

"Where did you hear that crap? Many things don't happen if you don't want them to happen. Things that you can control, I mean. Not stuff like accidents or deaths... No, other stuff is _up to you_. Like the other night at Danny's party, this very hot guy, Jason, wanted to hook up and I told him to go find somebody else... because it was up to me... I decided what I wanted to happen."

"Jason?" Stiles knows that guy, he's not spoken to him but he knows he's one of Danny's friends and the guy looks like he lives at the gym. "Really?"

"You can ask Danny." Jackson offers.

Stiles doesn't say anything. He only thinks about the fact that Jason knows about him and Jackson and the asshole simply didn't care at all.

"So yeah, I think I've proved my point."

"Jackson, if that just happened here with someone who _knows_ I exist... who knows _we are together_... just imagine what is going to happen when you are far from here where nobody has a clue. I don't think you can..." Stiles hesitates.

"What? Resist the temptation?" Jackson raises his eyebrows.

"Well... yeah..." Stiles finally admits. "I don't want you to feel obligated to..." Stiles licks his lips "y'know... stay celibate or whatever... It's college after all. I'm sure there will be lots of hot guys... and girls who will go after you. I'm not stupid... I know it's gonna happen," Stiles says matter-of-factly.

Jackson could tell him again how he knew Stiles was lying before but he's going to save it for another day.

Jackson shakes his head with disbelief once more. "So what if it happens?" Because of course Jackson knows it will. "If you trust me, then you have nothing to worry about. And haven't I proved to you that I want you? That your brain isn't the only thing I'm attracted to?" Jackson sighs. "To be honest I don't know how you can feel so insecure... I thought you were passed that by now." But obviously some things just never go away, not completely.

Stiles isn't sure how to answer that. He trusts Jackson but he still thinks that after some time, Jackson could feel lonely and bored and things could happen. And Stiles couldn't really blame him.

"I could be worried that somebody would want to hook up with you too, you know? But here is the thing... I _do_ trust you and I _know_ you love me. That's why I never thought about bringing this up. I know you aren't that kind of guy... and believe it or not, I'm not either. So, just get all this shit out of your head because there isn't any breaking up happening today or any time soon."

"Jackson, you _know_ that there are few people in this world who are hotter than you are... and they don't live in Beacon Hills, which is where I'm staying, so the fact that you could be remotely worried is actually hilarious. You just can't compare the situation here. And besides, it's not about that. I don't want you to be miserable in college and then blame me for having the most boring experience of your life afterwards."

"Oh my god." Jackson smiles. "First of all, I'm going to college, so that I can get a degree and you know, _a future_ , as they say. I'm not going to a fucking party, okay? I'm going to study. And secondly, you think I need to hook up with somebody so I don't get bored? Do you even listen to yourself? Will you be bored if you don't hook up with someone while I'm gone?"

"Hey, I've been... _on my own_ a lot... a lot longer than you have in your life, that's for sure; so I've got practice. I think I'll be perfectly fine."

"Yeah, but _I_ won't be _fine_ ," Jackson says with irony. "Because I _need_ to get laid so I _don't_ get bored. That's what you mean." Jackson licks his lips. "Wow. If that's what you really think... I think we actually have a problem," Jackson says, getting upset.

"That's _not_ what I meant..." Stiles shakes his head.

Jackson snorts. "Of course you did. And I thought you knew me... Because before you, when I was with Lydia for a long time and, despite our problems, I never cheated on her and believe me when I say that it wasn't for the lack of opportunities... but when I'm with someone, _I'm with someone_. Not to mention the fact that I'm a werewolf now and you have a connection with my wolf that nobody else has. And if you don't know that and you don't trust me... maybe you're right..." There’s a hitch in his breath. "Maybe we shouldn't be together."

Stiles opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. Everything that Jackson just said made him realize that he's stupid and he's fucked up.

"Maybe you were right after all." Jackson gets up and he's taken two steps towards the door when Stiles gets up and grabs him from his left arm to stop him.

"Jackson! Wait! Don't go. I fucked up, okay?" Stiles runs his hand along his left arm until it rests on his shoulder, squeezing lightly. "I see how you might have felt offended by what I said. But I didn't mean it that way, I swear. You know that sometimes I just say things they way the go through my head and I wish I had a filter for those times... Shit," Stiles shakes his head. "I'm sorry."

"The truth is that when we started going out, I never..." Stiles smiles for a second. "Never in a thousand years I thought we'd be in this situation. I guess I thought you'd get tired of me, or somebody else would get in the way or we'd find out that we didn't have more in common than what happened to us. And I guess that somewhere in the back of my head, I keep thinking the same..." Stiles shrugs. "But you were right before... and I know I don't say it that often... but I love you. I _do_... and I mean, if you think it can work, if you want to stay together... I trust you and I'll give it a try."

"Stiles, I'm not saying I'm one hundred percent sure that it's going to work. We're both new at this long distance thing, we've never been apart before, so maybe I'm wrong, maybe we'll fail miserably, but what's the solution? Just break up before that happens? We'll try and we'll see how it goes. There's texting, phone calls, Skype... should I go on? It's not the stone age anymore. We'll be in contact."

"Yeah... I know that." Stiles nods. "I'm also aware that I'm not the most confident person in the world--"

"You think?" Jackson raises his eyebrows.

"Are you making fun of me now?" Stiles smiles even if he's trying not to.

"You're very cute when you apologize. You should do it more often," Jackson smirks.

"Ha ha, don't change the subject."

"There wasn't really a subject anymore. You apologized, admitted that falling in love with me wasn't in your plans and agreed to a long distance thing with an uncertain future."

Jackson guides Stiles slowly towards the door with his hands on Stiles's hips until he can feel it against his back. "Now you should just kiss me while I'm still here because a Skype date won't really feel the same way... I assure you of that."

Stiles doesn't really have time to react because as soon as Jackson stops talking, his lips are covered by Jackson's, their hips pressed together, and his mind forgets whatever he wanted to say next.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for checking it. I'm [otg2012](http://otg2012.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr.
> 
> So, yeah, if you liked it and you'd like me to continue leave a comment please... that's what means a lot to any writer :)
> 
> For those who may not know this: You can comment even if you don't have an account. You only need an e-mail. That's all. It's easy and fast.


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